while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I have aggressive nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already put on my inside pants.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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