We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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