question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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