hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
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I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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