THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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