god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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