if you like me you must not know who I am
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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