I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are two peas in an std pod
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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