Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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