I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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