About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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