you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We talked him into tasing himself.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize