Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
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