i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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