I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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