just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
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last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
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What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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