When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize