I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
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You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
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In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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