i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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