i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
people are starting to question the shark bite story
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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