i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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