I am spending my child support on dildos
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My vagina just clenched in fear
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize