dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
two words: eviction party
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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