i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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