That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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