well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Randomize