Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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