genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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