Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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