It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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