We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
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he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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