I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize