That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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