he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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