he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize