Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
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