im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Is it because I queefed?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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