but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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