Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Are these your boobs on my camera?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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