Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize