Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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