every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
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all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
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Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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