i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize