I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
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The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
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You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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