im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
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I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
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I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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