Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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