You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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