you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Found your dick twin last night
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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