Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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