Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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